MY PAIN WAS TOO MUCH TO BARE

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By Valencia Legodi
Pfumani Raphasha, a 25-year-old individual, made multiple suicide attempts but was unsuccessful. She grappled with persistent thoughts of self-harm, hurtful insults, and challenges in her relationships. The stability of her family was disrupted when her father betrayed her mother and shifted the blame onto his spouse for his infidelity, resulting in him taking out his frustrations on their children.

The quarrels between her parents disturbed the family's peace and made home unpleasant. “It broke my heart to see my siblings go through it in tears, I felt so helpless at that time because there was not much I could do to help them, “she said.

In 2015, she was diagnosed with depression and a minor stroke due to stress and anxiety. Doctors often advised her to maintain a positive mindset and to avoid things and people that caused her stress. The stress she experienced at home and in her toxic relationship became unbearable. As a result, she overdosed on her mother’s high-blood pills and was later admitted at Kalafong. Upon discharge, She was referred to a psychologist.

After attending a few therapy sessions her psychologist prescribed medications for her. However, things deteriorated in her relationship as her baby daddy began cheating on her and neglecting their daughter. He started emotionally abusing her, leaving her physically weakened and even resorted to physically assaulting her and then buying her medication to heal her wounds. At times, she even considered resorting to prostitution to support her child.

“I did not know what to do, because I was unemployed then and my mother had a lot on her plate. Asking her for help would just add to her stress. Raising a child on my own was so difficult that I even found myself considering prostitution to support my child” Pfumani said.

In 2017, she experienced a significant decline in her health, including frequent fainting episodes. Upon consulting with medical professionals, it was determined that her heart failure was a result of anxiety and stress. They advised her to reduce overthinking and prioritize rest to prevent a potential stroke. Realizing the severity of her mental and physical health, she decided to seek ongoing psychological support and committed to focusing on the positive aspects of life.

Should you find yourself feeling suicidal and helpless, you can contact the SADAG on 011 234 4837 or 0800 567 567.

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